Gazette Regret
New Glabe's Biggest Embarrassment
by C.T. Strange
Ghostly possessions, labour violations and a coffee machine broken weekly – how has the city’s oldest newspaper fallen to such lows? From our contact within the newspaper, we expose the disorder behind the shutters.
“Why do you need to do interviews and plans when you can just wing it?“
Manuel ‘Manny’ Maximilian Manwell, Celebrity & Style
This lackadaisical attitude is rampant in the newspaper, with preparation set aside for the sake of glitz and glamour.
”I didn't say I want lies, I said people want lies!“
Esme Miller, Politics
Integrity and truth are apparently side effects of the ultimate goal – giving the people what they want. Journalism reduced to mere fiction.
“The king is wearing a crown of yellow because he is an incomprehensible cosmic horror that is going to end the world imminently.”
Acheron ‘Ronnie’ Faraday, Economics/Celebrity & Style
Flagrant disrespect to the establishment reveals near-treasonous sentiments within the newspaper. The dangers of this within a platform of such power cannot be understated.
‘Weasel’
Laurentius Abberfraw, Politics, on Miranda Hamilton, Treasury Secretary
Treatment of government officials is little better. The Gazette, it seems, stands against all that this country is built on. Its current state undermines the very foundations of democracy.
“I've done illegal things in the past.”
Elis Sinclair, Politics
Do they think themselves above the law? Above reproach? Such comments cannot be ignored, no matter the reputation of the organisation behind them.
“If he did [sic], he wouldn't know how to spell them and if he knew how to spell them he wouldn't know how to pronounce them.”
Avery Damask, Celebrity & Style
Basic literacy is questioned regularly, with standards for employment at worrying low.
“I word-searched too close to the sun.”
Marty Keenan
Childish behaviour and unprofessional attitudes – the Gazette has lost its capacity for seriousness that it requires to be a competent newspaper.
“What does that have to do with journalism?”
Hydroxymethylpentylcyclohexenecarboxaldehyde ‘Hydro’ Ivory-Starr, to Sam McDonald, the Editor
Even within the Gazette, authority garners no respect. The Editor’s words fall on deaf ears, rejected for the sake of sensationalism.
“That intern is so scary.”
Lani Gray, Puzzles & Fiction
Bullying goes unchecked, with interns scrapping to terrify their way to the top.
“You are a stark raving lunatic!”
Laurentius Abberfraw to Elis Sinclair
Insults fly through the air, the vitriolic atmosphere fuelling articles full of ire and spite.
These are but a sample of what can be heard on a daily basis around the Gazette’s open-plan office. Yet it does not stop with words. Several members of the Puzzles & Fiction department believe their own Editor and even Her Royal Highness the Princess Regent Charlotte to be possessed by ghosts. There are reports of docking pay, undue firings and even violence – the office coffee machine being broken twice over the course of one week.
We hope that with some light shone upon them, our colleagues at the Gazette can find their way once more. It’s a tragedy to see the fall of such a giant, and we hope – with time – it can rise again.