Briefing 2

I had expected that my announcement last week would have led to a flood of quality articles being published. Sadly, the opposite seems to be true. This week has seen a very sparse crop of articles, and some poor-quality pieces have been published. These writers will be held accountable for their actions at the upcoming meeting.

I would normally deal with the pressure of this job by having several cups of coffee throughout the day. Unfortunately, I now cannot do that, because somebody has smashed up the machine. I hope you are proud of having made everyone else's days a little bit (or a lot) worse. I will find out who you are, and you will face the consequences of your actions.

Innovations have had surprising success, but by rewriting a previous article, which is hardly innovative. I have been told that Features are doing good work, although I am yet to see any evidence of this. I also received a call from Altona Price noting that Avery Damask had been very helpful at his recent photoshoot; I hope to see this reflected in an article soon.

The big news today is that the King has shut down Parliament. Surely this has given you something worthy to write about? Find out why it happened. Find out how people are responding. The role of the press is to hold our political system to account. Do it.

• Continuing: Legitimate, if Impromptu, Employee Survey. May we remind you that it is a longstanding and unwritten company policy that employees comply with any and all requests for answers. You can find the rest of the Gazette's unwritten rules for employees here:

• Unprecedented Disappearance: of Uncountably Many Bugs from Storage. Please keep your eyes and ears peeled this week, and watch where you step. These little valuables might be hidden anywhere in the office, perhaps strategically; you are encouraged to remain vigilant at all times.

• Reminder: Acceptable Workplace Conduct. Some rather, shall we say, spirited language has been noticed, both in and within a 10-mile radius of the office. Be mindful that descriptions such as “hard time”, “prison”, and “hellhole” are not only violations of our Code of Conduct but liable to cause misery to one's peers. Remember, at the Gazette we are not merely colleagues, but family – you wouldn't suggest your grandmother “try bathing naked in the moonlight”, would you?

• And Lastly, an Apology: That No Links In this Message Work. It would be outside the remit of my role to surmise why our beloved IT department are not responding to my emails, but it is plausible that the email server is also not working. However, against adversity we press on! Employees are invited to make use of the Cross-Departmental Memo System. Unfortunately, as Communications are not presently communicable, said infrastructure is unavailable. You are instead invited to handwrite, sign, and hand-deliver your private messages – a foolproof method of secure communication.

Much love!

from Human Resources ⋆˚✿˖°

To the esteemed writers and editorial staff:

The Features Department kindly informs you that our writers have made significant progress on the investigation of luxury teddy bear manufacturing in New Glabe. Since research is ongoing, we remind you that under no circumstances should information about our writers' findings be shared outside of the Gazette.

Regards,
Miss Aya Stillwater

I, dear reader, have a confession to make. I… have failed you.

But be not afraid! I have not led you astray, dear reader, nor have my impressive powers of deduction abandoned me in these trying times. For once, however, evil has outpaced me.

Just twenty minutes ago, I was putting the finishing touches on my latest article - a devastating expose of the insidious Duke of Abberfraw. As always, it is those who try hardest to appear spotless in the public light who have the most to hide.

The Duke, dear readers, is slowly crumbling. His public appearances are becoming inconsistent, his speeches incoherent. A source close to the Duke told me that he is prone to delusions, even claiming to be his own father! And in this detail lies the key to the whole puzzle. The current Duke is jealous of the previous - jealous of the success of a man in whose shadow he will ever be cloaked.

Our envious protagonist has concocted a desperate ploy. A ploy that I, naturally, foresaw - but not even I expected the bold pace at which it moved!

Twenty minutes ago, reader, the news broke - Parliament Prorogued! - and immediately the truth became clear. My tireless network of contacts has been working busily to confirm it, but the judgement is now in. Duke Abberfraw was behind this tyrannical travesty of democracy, for no deeper reason than to stroke his own ego!

Written by Elis Sinclair.

It's a good week to open a new path. Keep your eye out for opportunities, and be open to taking them. Don't be dismayed if it turns out badly. Just pick yourself off, shake off the sand, and look for the next chance. Lucky numbers 1, 618.

Yee haw, partner. It's high noon. Er, I mean– the sun has reached its apex in the sign of Trapeza. The First Light shines upon your victory in a noonday duel, or whatever it is you're planning to do. Lucky numbers 6, 11.43, 33.

You've been struggling to find the answer to a difficult question, though deep down you think you already know. Stop trying to peer deeper into your own soul and take a step back. Lucky numbers 4, 19, 40.

If your colleagues don't recognise your hard work, that's not your problem - that's theirs. You don't need the affirmations of others to feel self-worth, and you'll keep on wearing that smile and going about your day. Lucky numbers 18, 6, 139.

Sometimes you feel small in a massive world, and you don't understand how others seem to just be getting about their days so comfortably while knowing that. The truth is, they feel the same way. Lucky numbers 2, 3, 10.

You're beginning to want big changes in your life. To be clear, that's okay too. Maybe people don't expect you to be able to reach to the stars, but that doesn't make you any less capable. Lucky numbers 93, 2, 29.

You feel full. It's okay to say you can't handle so much, and lay down some of this load. You've picked up the slack for others plenty of times - it's okay to let them rely on you. Lucky numbers 1, 3, 4.

Hey, buddy, did you hear the news? Opthal and Gemin are both in your sign. I don't envy you! Good luck with that, or whatever.

Nah - you've got this. Who better for such a burden to fall on? Who else could handle such astral opposition but you, brave soldier. Lucky numbers 4, 31, 92.

Your life feels like it's calming down right now. Perhaps the younger you would have wanted more, more, more, but you're feeling just about ready to settle. Lucky numbers 93, 212, 10293.

You caught a glance earlier this week of something from years ago - something you left up on the shelf, loved - but untouched. You don't want to end up like that. You'd rather be old and manky than pure and pristine. Lucky numbers 22, 23, 24.

The cup runneth over, and you're there underneath it with your mouth open while everyone else flees in terror. You're built different. You're a liquid imbiber. Lucky numbers 3, 9, 27.

You are about to recieve massive new responsibilities. Not like, ya know, you're gonna get a dog or something. I'm talking more like you are going to have tens of millions of people relying on you. That's just what happens when Sylos in retrograde passes into Xiphos I guess. Lucky number 80,144,076.