Briefing 4

What a mess.

Never, in over a decade as Editor here, have I been so disappointed and embarrassed. The Lookout has humiliated us this week, and at least one of you has helped them do it. The teddy bear factory story, which many of you have been working on for weeks, was undermined by the Lookout beating us to publishing. And the Lookout shared a collection of our office gossip in their paper this morning. Perhaps some of you are loyal enough to not be paying for a Lookout subscription, so I will share the article here. Read it and be ashamed: Gazette Regret. When I find out who has been doing this, they will be out of this door so fast they won't even be able to say the word 'leak'.

But, impressively, this week's failures of the Gazette are not only due to outside sabotage! No, no, several people here are completely capable of trashing the Gazette's reputation all by themselves. Innovations has published directly contradictory articles. The coffee machine has been destroyed again. I don't know if the stormy weather outside has destroyed your sense of judgement, but I advise you to pull yourselves together soon and remember that you are supposed to be competent journalists working at a professional publication.

I still want to give credit where it is due. I am impressed by the work put into the teddy bear factory exposé. This is exactly what I had in mind a month ago when I asked you all to improve your output and find a gem of a story. Although the leak has undermined this, our article was far more detailed and complete, so there is something to be proud of. Furthermore, the royals seem shifty about this Delaney Park story, so I encourage you to continue pursuing that.

Perhaps I should cancel the work party today, but I am not going to do that. The Spring Party is traditional, and many of you have been working hard over the past few weeks. I will not ruin your fun as punishment to a small number of disappointing individuals. The toy factory article has strengthened my faith that you do all have the potential to do great things. Please show me that this faith is not misplaced.

To the writers, editors, and otherwise informed parties of the New Glabe Gazette,

The morning after our previous meeting, the Lookout published a long-form piece titled “ESPIONAGE RING DISCOVERED AT TOY FACTORY - SUSPECTS UNKNOWN” on their front page. For weeks, both I and my writers worked tirelessly to maintain the confidentiality of our operation. It seems our efforts were in vain. It is only thanks to Constantyne's previous investigation that we were able to publish something unique the next day. Though the Gazette's exposé was of higher quality and of greater usefulness to the police since it provided the names of the criminals involved, the Lookout's article came first. Our rival has stolen our best story in months, and someone is responsible. I have no doubt that the Lookout article was leaked by a source inside the Gazette. Allow me to state what my own writers already know.

This is unacceptable. I promised in last week's Features meeting that anyone who dared leak my writers' fine work would know my fury. To my great chagrin, I am left with no choice but to honour my promise. I will search high and low until I find the individual responsible for this, and I will bring them to justice. I will allow no one to make a mockery of my writers and their careers.

Should you have any information on who may be responsible for this individual, I suggest that you prioritize telling me. I do not take kindly to those who harbour affection for the scum of this industry.

Regards,

Miss Stillwater

• Award: Employee of the Month. Ere we join hands and step as one into the bright promise of the next month, we must take a moment, still holding hands, to acknowledge those among us who constitute the heart, the mind, and the spirit of our office. Once again, for the latest in a strikingly long list of victories, nobody has managed to outperform our dearly beloved Miss Mocha, the office cat. Everyone say thank you, Miss Mocha! [Image of Miss Mocha to be appended once she ceases to leap, claws extended, at my face when I come within a 5 metre radius. Photo submissions welcome.]
• Party: Happening Soon. Don't forget that the dress code is business formal. If you do forget, well, I will be contractually obliged to… oh, dear. It seems that part in your employment contracts merely says ”[clause under construction]“. What a real shame! I suppose this means you can wear whatever you like.
• Coffee Drought Update: Still Nothing. Having passed by the machine this morning I remarked that the machine appears not to have been fixed by our office's secret vigilante this week. Unfortunately, our office's secret villain still tried to break it. As the machine is now duly broken-in (twice over!) consider this an official request from Human Resources to dust your hands and put your crowbars, baseball bats, &c. away for the time being. In its present state, the machine cannot hurt you. I doubt it will ever hurt anyone ever again.

With a truly indescribable feeling,

from Human Resources ⋆˚✿˖°

Dear reader,

This week I have an exciting double feature for you! Well, not really — the first part, on the involvement of our new Queen in the Duke of Abberfraw’s pernicious plot — has already been leaked and published by the Lookout, who foolishly attempted to attack me with my own weapons. Despite their attempt at a derogatory spin, their article still revealed the truth that I had uncovered, and the truth is the truth regardless of where it is published.

But I still need to publish, of course — I could never deprive you, my loyal readers, of my careful and eloquent prose. Originally I planned to simply forge on with my original article, but then a new and even impactful story came to my attention.

As you well know, the Duke of Abberfraw is a monstrous, evil man whose fat fingers sit in every pie of our government. Through his contact, the Minister of Deception Miranda Hamilton, he arranged for the proroguement of parliament and the ultimate betrayal of Seldona’s democratic values. Now a new piece of the puzzle has emerged, and perhaps our first weapon with which to fight back against the Duke.

You see, dear reader, I have received certain and unassailable proof… that the Duke of Abberfraw’s brother, my own colleague Laurentius Abberfraw, is in fact an illegitimate child! Suddenly his blatant opposition to my crusade of truth makes sense. More importantly, we now have a gap within the Duke’s impenetrable armour of righteousness. This key evidence stains the name of his father, and his name along with it.

As ever, dear reader, stay curious. Down with the Duke! Down with the Minister of Deception! Down with Laurentius Abberfraw!

Written by Elis Sinclair.

You've always felt like you're compromising on your dreams to make things work with your friends and family. You've always felt like you wanted to just, get up and go. The stars are… well, maybe not in your favour, but they're certainly not against it. The truth is, now's as good a time as any. Lucky numbers 2, 34, 44

You often feel like you go unnoticed, perhaps as if you are being taken for granted. You know you're more important - you know that you're the foundation of this project - but people don't seem to regard you that way. The truth is, there's no 'right' way to go about this. Whatever choice you make, you need to be ready to stick to it. Lucky numbers 7, 7, 454

You feel like you're worn down - like the very last of you has been drained to its end. Remind yourself that it's not a crime to take an opportunity to rest - maybe you need a few days' vacation, or a wink-wink-nudge-nudge sick day. Lucky numbers 7, 4, 7.

You've been wondering whether or not you're content to be one more shield in a formation of ten thousand, or if you wish to be the hero standing alone. One's more glamourous, but the truth is that the other is more likely to change the world. Both are noble paths. Lucky numbers 7, 750, 9765

You've been feeling like you're skimming on the surface of life, leaving great depths untouched. Perhaps you feel nervous - once you sink in, there'll be no way back. The world will pressure you to find your place, but the stars urge you to take your time. Find solace in the slow and steady motion of the heavens. Lucky numbers 7, 36, 9124.

You've made a good friend and you'd like to keep it that way, but you can't help but feel that they want more. If it's not clear to them that you're platonic now, it probably never will be. Honesty is the best policy in this case. Lucky numbers 7, 143, 172.

Right. There's no pretty way to put this. You are going to lose your job. Lucky numbers 0, 8, 14.

Keep yourself level and you'll be able to account for your own weaknesses, finding novel ways to balance yourself out. You've known for a long time that you have more to give, and it's time to find it. Lucky numbers 2, 5, 40.

This week will call upon your ability to think for yourself, setting aside preconception and social pressure. Steady yourself, take a moment and catch your breath, and give the evidence one more look before you make your decision. Lucky numbers 1, 7, 318.

You are a deeply loyal friend. Your friends are lucky to have you, and they show their appreciation in turning to you in times of need. Just because it goes unsaid does not mean it's not unknown. Lucky numbers 4, 16, 321.

Some people say to keep your friends close and your enemies closer. You're not sure that's a good idea. After all, wouldn't it just make it easier for them to poison you? Yeah, better to keep your friends closest. Lucky numbers 4, 7, 7.

All people see is the single, monumental blow. They don't see the hours of forging and honing and sharpening and practicing and re-sharpening just to get all the conditions right. Remember that everyone else is working towards their monumental blow, too, and consider how you might well have missed a hundred hours of preparation. Lucky numbers 2, 25, 91.